Riding The "T" with Valentines

I love riding the "T." I will explain the arcana of the Boston subway system in a following post, let me just say now that I have great and interesting adventures "beneath the streets of boston;" but that day, that year... ok, I'll stop with the allusions, one day, between the original and the current Charlie (I said I'd explain later, this is going to turn serious presently) I was riding the Orange line, and writing in my journal. It was a big journal. I write large. (note the tense, no allusion there.)

A women came up to me and said "What interesting handwriting you have!"

I was working on a poem. Writing poetry evokes the young calligrapher I once was, and I tend to write my poems in a very interesting italic hand. It was those years of studying Arrighi at RISD, I guess. The scrawl in my journal had a three line cap. It was conspicuous to my neighbor on the seat, and so she made her comment.

I thanked her, but said there was a small problem with it, which was, and is, that it was totally illegible, even to myself! ( I've lost more good lines because of this...)

She was nonplussed! "But, it is so beautiful! It doesn't matter!" I think she may have been French.

This little reminiscence is timely as it was just before Valentines Day, two years after the passing of  "the Mad Genius" and I had been nursing my lonely hart with an infatuation with a fickle man who I actually like very much but know too well to have thought romantically about. Ah me......

Here is what was in the journal:

Saint Valentine

On this day I’m all alone

The object of my heart has flown

To distant southern climes

Leaving me with art and rhymes

To host the ghosts and the daemons

Which these days attend your season.

I have given honor, written sonnets

Offered love, no conditions on it

True in body heart and mind 

All things men claim they want to find

But can not see, or will not trade

For selfish hollow lives they’ve made

Full of words but lacking deeds

Bereft of trust and full of needs

How many of your days must I endure

‘Till love, or death perhaps, becomes secure.

In my introduction to this blog I promised poetry- what better time of year to start! I promise something more cheerful for the day itself!

I Think......

I think, therefore I think I think....

At least that's how I'm thinking about things today.

I am reminded of the classic graffite:

To be is to do

Descartes

To do is to be

Sartre

Do be do be do

Sinatra

Last night I attended Helen Fisher's lecture at the Museum of science with Dr.Funk, my friend who is involved in neuroscience and is always giving me interesting books and hand knit scarves, to say nothing of the most stimulating conversation on the planet! She has recently given me both of Helen Fisher's books, as well as "Descartes' Error," by Antonio De Massio.

I am going to refrain from saying much about Helen Fisher's books. Her research is incredibly interesting, and while the way it's packaged can seem like just another "let's fall in love" self help scheme, remembering that it is based in hard science- biology- makes it significant. Unfortunately the popular package makes it hard to remember that. We realized something at the lecture (sitting with a very tough scientist helps one realize certain things,) that in this case her present association with Match dot com and Chemistry dot com rather than being a "sell out" has given her a sample size that is beyond the dreams of any statistician, and adds enormously to the value of her research.

Regarding her books, I already knew the research from conversation with Dr. Funk, and the poetry and philosophy from other sources and therefore I did not find them very compelling, and encourage you to draw your own conclusions. The presentation exceeded my expectations however; and wandering in the Museum of Science with Dr. Funk is one of life's great pleasures.

"Descartes' Error" is very much on the other hand, it is very engrossing, and follows on my having read "Descartes Bones" and "The Courtier and they Heretic." The later was lent to me by my friend Carolyn who I am trying to persuade to blog with her book reviews. At present you'll just have to join Emmanuel Church to get them in "Voices." They are far from being the least reason to do that!

You are beginning to think perhaps that I am wandering around the landscape of thought at this point. I invite you to come for the walk!

I have only read a little of 'Descartes' Error" as yet. I will therefore comment on the title, and the error it references. We seem to be in a Descartes bashing phase, not the first by the way. I think that in this case at least part of the "error" is a reference to the dualistic view of mind vs body that Descartes proposed, not for the first time. I will report more fully after finishing the book.

What I do want to comment on is the way the famous phrase "I think therefore I am" is represented, particularly by the Descartes bashers. To my mind it competes with "Ignorance is bliss" in misunderstanding. The later is to be expected, of course, from a subjunctive challenged society.

My understanding is that Descartes was simply looking for the most basic observation he could make from which to start building a body of objective knowledge. "Since I am thinking about this I know that I exist." he was looking for a way to define a concrete fact, which is surprisingly hard to do. His assumption was that if he didn't exist he wouldn't be thinking the thought, asking the question. In asking "Do I exist" he was proving that he must exist, and that from there he could go on to the next thing that "must exist." It was both revolutionary, and has offered us a great opportunity for jokes and satire, but is no less valid, all the same.

Rather like Helen Fisher.

In Concert

I love Jordan Hall

I love chamber music

I particularly love the string quartet 

I love the Borromeo String Quartet

I love Dvorak

All that by way of making certain disclosures about my preferences and prejudices. One might ask "if one string quartet is good are two better?" The answer is the Mendelssohn Octet, which I think is an excellent answer! Having doubled my focus on the quartet by including the octet the intervening steps became a fascination; thus the Dvorak quintet for piano and string quartet!

If my memory serves (the late eighties were a long time ago) the first time I heard the Borromeo was when they joined the Cleveland Quartet at Jordan hall for a performance of the Mendelssohn Octet. I should add the "Cleveland" to the list above. The Cleveland welcomed the youngsters in their performance, concluding their series of concerts.

On Wednesday night it was the "Borromeo" welcoming the youngsters, the winners of the 2009 guest awards. Kristopher Tong as replaced by Mary Lynch, an oboist, in a very beautiful quartet by Benjamin Britten, and by the way, during the applause I caught a very graceful and warm acknowledgment in the face of Yeesom Kim, who was right in my line of view.

In Brahm's String quintet in F major Mr. Tong was replaced by Laura Colgate, and also joining was Oleksander Vavilov, and again , a wonderful performance of a piece I really love.

Intermission

All the foregoing was a delight. I particularly enjoy, nay, am moved, to witness mature people sharing themselves and their talent and experience with younger folks. This is how our culture grows. Have you ever considered the relationship between what we call on the one hand, our "Culture" and on the other the culture in which science grows organisms for study? We grow our Culture in a very similar sort of environment.

It had been a stormy day, snow and sleet and rain. The roads and sidewalks were ice covered by slush and water. I- even I- fell on my way to the hall! I was soaked, and the audience was small, enthusiastic but small. I stayed in my seat during the intermission. I could hear strains of the Dvorak whispering from back stage. We had the Piano Quintet in A Major, Op.81 coming, and the piano was being moved forward.

When the performers appeared we had all of the Borromeo joined by Andrei Baumann, the pianist. Jordan Hall is small, one might say intimate, and the faces of the performers are easily read. That is a great gift because the Borromeo are as much fun to watch as the are sublime to listen too. Each has his personality and expresses the music intensely. Intense, playful, dancing, and in the case of Mr. Tong, who happened to be right in my line of sight, mischievous, almost teasing, seeming to talk to his instrument as he plays.

It is a strange and wonderful thing when a performance suddenly sends an electric shock through both the performers and the audience. We had had a wonderfully pleasant concert thus far, and as that word connotes, enjoyable, satisfying, but not particularly remarkable. Then they started the Dvorak, and in the first few bars it was apparent to everyone, not least themselves that something extraordinary was happening! I am a passionate audient, but know nothing about performance that would enable me to explain why this was, but my heart started to soar. The music became a kinetic experience. Lyrical and dramatic by turns, poignant and then reassuring. for me it was a blissful experience, and for all the audience, I think. 

"In Concert" is an amazing concept. We say it often, but without it's real meaning. We say it as a thing, an occurrence. So and So will be performing "In Concert." It becomes a time and place. But the word means "acting jointly." It amazes me that in a world that we think of as being so jaded, so filled with greed and self interest, so motivated by baseness, that five people can come together and act with such complete accord, jointly, in concert, to reach across cultures to the heart of their fellow man. It is this, I think, that can "soothe the savage beast," perhaps the most savage, ourselves, if we spend enough time in places like Jordan Hall!

Birthday wish for a young friend

This is my response to a very kind friend who wrote offering condolence on the loss of my camera. It is his 25th birthday! I hope I've learned a few things along life's journey, and that they can be of some use to others. "Stony the road we trod" as the hymn says, but we help one another along it.

My Friend,

Thank You for your very kind message. I will follow your advice and may seek your coaching along the way. The face book page will have to await a new camera- I am way overdue for a self portrait- the last was done in 2006.

Regarding the camera. Fortunately for me a camera is both more easily replaced and far less "animate" than a viola!  I appreciate your sympathy and accept your hug with the hope you will translate it from a virtual to a physical one at our next meeting!

Do I remember correctly that this is your 25th birthday? On or about, in any case. I think, if you will allow me, that I will reflect on the camera incident in the context of my life. Perhaps these thoughts will be of some use to you as you proceed on your journey through the 35 years that separate us.

I often liken life to a great long hallway that we walk with ourselves. I have always had the company of the thing I refer to as "My Friend" which has been a great help to me. It is a very interesting place to walk, like an Elizabethan Gallery; different windows and carpets and furniture, pictures, even clocks! Some parts are rather bright, others dark, some warm and comfortable others hard and cold- you know this already. To continue the metaphor, there are also warrens of interconnected rooms off to the side. For me the test of how I'm getting along is always whether I can look back over my shoulder and see the door I came in by, what ever the intervening changes might be.

Those rooms on the side are fearful places where people who are afraid to look back choose to go. They are a maze, and getting out of them can be difficult, sometimes impossible. I have lost many friends and even a partner in them.

The doors into that place are the doors of irresponsibility. This will bring us back to the camera. I left the camera in a place where it wasn't supervised. I was stupid to do it, and now I have to accept that responsibility and move on. The funny thing is that there is great peace in accepting that truth, and being able to do so is a hard but worthwhile thing to do. 

The partner I referred to above used to disagree with me vehemently about how a "professional" deals with his own mistakes. It has always been my practice to examine my work as closely as I can, and when I find a mistake I call my client and alert him, and I am very explicit about the correction. My partner was insistent that this amounted to a loss of face. I often lost a good deal of money by this policy, but gained enormous respect, and loyalty, and even material assistance from my clients when fortune turned against me. In fact two of them have already come forward to assist with a new camera. I tell you this because there are many forces in business and society that will try to persuade you into actions that compromise yourself, but I say that the rewards of being true, though long term, and perhaps not remunerative are of greater value than any compromise. When I was 25 I would have received such advice with a  chuckle, I was very strong in myself, and very clear in my honor and my standards. I still am, I'm happy to report, but what a stormy crossing the intervening years have been!

You are like a very bright star in your life right now, and your brightness will bring warmth and pleasure to those around you, but I fear it will also attract some who will feel exposed by it, and try to dim, or extinguish your brightness. They do that by waylaying you into those rooms I spoke about. Their agenda is often to criticize, demean, teach you that your values are unsophisticated or unproductive, your interests inconvenient; in your case your multiplicity of interests indicative of a lack of focus, your sincerity a sign of a lack of sophistication; it gets worse. In short they try to make you like themselves. They are very clever especially when sex and affection are involved. That is a test as arduous as any knight in a medieval romance faced. In fact it is the test they faced.

Sleep's Angel

Sleep once was mine to dispose

Upon my nights at will and need;

Then was stolen my sweet repose

By cleaver thieves I did not heed;

Who came in loving guise,

Foreswearing faith and telling lies.

They left me only wakefulness

And night no longer gave me rest.

Sleep’s Angel then rest’s ransom named:

That I withdraw from loves reckless race!

Resign to plod the level heartless sod

Of a safer life without another’s face. 

Now day and night pace out anxious sleep,

And my living heart rests in slumber deep. 

I encourage you to take a very detailed inventory of your personal qualities right now. That will take a long time because they are very many. Watch the faces of the people around you for the signs of joy your presence brings them, look at the products of all your efforts, another lengthy list, and fix all that very firmly in your mind. It is a worthy armor to face your journey with. I can tell you that if you get to the end of it with that inventory intact you will be able to face whatever comes with peace and happiness.

I hope I am not presuming to much in offering all this on your birthday. I wish you well on life's journey and will always be available to you should you need someone to remind you of your goodness

Superstitions in the mail

This email was written in response to a very generous friend who has just given me a copy of "Descartes' Error" by Antonio Damasio.  Since I sometimes develop my thinking in emails I thought I would start recording some of them here!

Thanks for your message, I appreciate it!

"Descartes Error" is particularly timely for me because I recently read "Descartes' Bones" by Russell Shorto and am now reading "The Courtier and the Heretic" by Matthew Stewart which is about Spinoza and Liebniz. I have always been very perplexed by the premise that the mind and body are separate; in fact the main intellectual preoccupation for me over the past few years has been trying to understand why ideas and institutions which seem to rest on such positive ground as the well being of the mind should be the source of so much destruction and hurt to the physical person and world. This rather jaded and  even dubious motivation is what has been impelling my interest in churches, and finding one that was aware of that connection and trying to address it was an unexpected surprise. There is a lot to say about that but it isn't the point of this message.

I came across this passage about Descartes in the Stewart book:

"By isolating the mind from the physical world the philosopher insured that many of the doctrines of orthodoxy- immortality of the soul, freedom of the will, the "special" status of humankind- were rendered immune to any possible contravention by scientific investigation"

It is so easy to look at that situation and think what an irrational intellectual environment it was at that time, and yet it isn't much different now. We chuckle at the Church's attitude toward Galileo, but refuse to see that the whole "Creationism" argument is exactly the same. Our discussions of drug policy, death and suicide, and mental illness are every bit as hysterical as those of the seventeenth century establishment. The ultimate irony of all the conservative positions is that they do nothing to increase the honor of the "creator"  as they describe it, but only trivialize the whole of creation, including it's spiritual aspects. It is very perplexing. One does well to remember Abelard's statement "logic made me hated among men."

Sorry if I sound jaded. I brought my camera to church yesterday to take some photos of inscriptions for the archivist and stupidly left my bag unattended with the coats and someone rifled through it and stole my camera. Isn't it strange that that would happen the day after I suggested you shouldn't leave your Fur on a similar coat rack! Talk about perplexing- was that Fate telling me to mind my own advice, or reeking retribution on me for interfering. Even after descrying such explanations of the cosmos I too resort to the supernatural to understand my own stupidity.  I think I'll start reading the Greek drama!

Best Wishes

Having Faith In Faith

It seems that only a week into the new administration various signs of hope are appearing in our society. I refer to the vote by the Texas Board of Education that high school science teachers would "no longer have to cover the 'strengths and weaknesses' of Charles Darwin's theory that man evolved from lower forms of life." I am quoting from an article in the Dallas Morning News.

Do I dare to hope that our embarrassments in front of the international community are finally being lessened? Has the Texas Board decided not to compete with the Vatican's record on Galileo?

It is easy, and gratifying, to poke fun. 

But there is a very important aspect of these controversies that seldom is voiced. As far back as 415 C.E. Saint Augustine warned in chapter 20 of his "On The Literal Interpretation of Genesis" against being dogmatic in interpretation:

"When they are able, from reliable evidence, to prove some fact of physical science, we shall 

show that it is not contrary to our Scripture."

In 1966 the Melton Research center published "Understanding Genesis." In the introduction Simon Greenberg, Vice Chancellor of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America says: 

"The Melton Research Center assumes that traditional Judaism has naught to fear from the strictures of philosophy and science, and the discoveries of archeology."

It always perplexes me that a certain type of "Fundamentalist" will propose that the scriptures which they claim to reverence are so weak in their basic premise that they can not withstand any departure from the denotation of the words they contain. The linguistic argument itself belies their premise. I recommend John Boswell's "Christianity, Homosexuality, and Social Tolerance" for a tour of the way the words of scripture have evolved and changed in their meanings over time.

But in a larger context there is, in my humble opinion, a very grievous conflict of ideas in proposing that God is universal, omniscient etc. but is nonetheless bound to conform to our very inadequate notions of time, space and action. The fundamentalists don't seem particularly bothered by relativity, nor by the Scholastic premise of the "Unmoved Mover," yet if you put those thoughts together i.e. that time is a function of distance, and therefore has no application to the "Unmoved Mover," then any recitation of days in Genesis, the idea that "Biblical Time" as applied to God and his creative acts becomes simply ridiculous. 

To ridicule is most irreverent. it is that aspect of these silly discussions that bothers me most. The position of the fundamentalists and conservatives regarding literal interpretations of scripture results in exactly the danger that St.Augustine warned about 1600 years ago. To base the validity of the Scriptures on aspects which are clearly open to debate is to make them debatable; to trivialize them. Their importance lies elsewhere, in matters of the spirit. Let us congratulate the Texas Board for taking them out of the hands of small minded bigots and letting the science teachers get on with teaching truth.  

Emmanuel's land #5

Emmanuel's Land